Camp

I finally brought my camera to camp with me.  I have not done so previously because I didn't want to be too voyeuristic.  But, I am beginning the process of saying good-bye to my clients, and one of the things I would like to do for them is give them a copy of a picture of us together.  Virtually none of the refugees have a camera, so they really like to be given picture of themselves and their family.  Saying good-bye is difficult when you are pretty sure you will never see each other again.  My clients are always asking me if I will ever return to Malawi, and I don't want to give them false hope by saying yes.  I tell them that I do not have any plans to return in the near future, and I usually explain that the reason I am not going to return is that it is a very expensive and time consuming trip.  It is not because I do not hope to see them again someday.  I think the most important thing now is to say good-bye in a meaningful way, giving us both an opportunity to reflect on what good-bye represents. For many refugees, they have said good-bye to so many things and people already, that it can be very heart-wrenching to do so again.

It was also suggested by my supervisor, Ann, that I think now about how I will carry this experience home with me.  Indeed, I have thought long and hard but not come up with totally satisfactory answers.  The refugees always ask me not to forget them and to remember to share their story with others.  I do plan to share their stories, and I think this is a good way to honor my time with them and my experience in the camp.  Beyond that, my time here has solidified my interested in working with refugees around trauma.  I would like to find a job after graduation that allows me to continue in this vein. And if that proves difficult, I will certainly volunteer at a refugee organization, hopefully providing mental health services.  I think such a role would serve in contrast to my experience here.  I have a sense of what life in a refugee camp is like, where all the refugees are hoping for resettlement in a more developed country.  But I am sure that the transition for them would be difficult, given acculturation and other issues that would present themselves.  I'd like to gain some experience providing counseling to refugees who have already been resettled and hear from them how resettlement has proven both wonderful and difficult. 

One of the pictures includes me, a woman in my support group, and her baby.  The first week of group the woman came, looking very pregnant...and the next week she came with a baby!  The baby is so sweet and quiet.  The close-up picture is of me and Saida, my co-worker.  She is Rwandan and is one of the interpreters I work with the most here.  She is a really amazing woman.  Also, I should mention that Africans typically don't smile for pictures.  So, they are not looking serious because they are so miserable, that is just how they always pose!